Tough to imagine over the course of five years that we have had three “Expendable” films. The first outing was fresh and lively. Mainly because an assembly line of macho 80s action studs all graced the silver screen for the first time. This also marked the return of The Governator to the big screen (even if it was just a cameo). Regardless, it was an underrated R-rated blood and violence fest that I ate up like yesterday’s breakfast. Then two years later we got a sequel, which was systematically just as entertaining, perhaps even better than the original (probably because of Chuck Norris). As the summer movie-going season slowly started to wind down, they must have been hoping to inject some extra ‘muscle’ (pun-intended) into cinemas with the rag tag team once again front and center in “The Expendables 3”.

There are a slew of additional martial arts and MMA experts added to the lineup (who barely get any screen-time). The script is almost so oversaturated that it can barely balance all the testosterone. Replacing Bruce Willis with Harrison Ford, and adding Glen Powell along with Wesley Snipes. Introducing into the mix Antonio Banderas, Ronda Rousey, Victor Ortiz and the very good Mel Gibson as the baddie. As well as returning alum, Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jason Statham, Randy Couture, Dolph Lundgren, Terry Crews, and Jet Li (who maybe has ONE line). What is Jet Li so busy doing these days that he could not have been incorporated into the movie more? In the first one Li was in it to win, and now he has reverted to a schmuck and is just there to add some name recognition. Do not be fooled.

The thin story follows Barney Ross with his noble brigade busting someone out of prison (yet again) who could it be? Oh …it’s Wesley Snipes. Bing, bang, boom they save the day — and are now forced to accept their next task. This time Church is replaced by Max Drummer (Ford) (basically just a lesser paid version of Church) Drummer uses line’s like “Church is out of the picture’’ or “We couldn’t get Willis back, so now I’m standing here”….I digress. The crew must hunt down a notorious and ruthless arms dealer known for his exploitation of American goods and killings. GASP! It turns out to be a former Expendable-turned-baddie Conrad Stonebanks (a name right out of a comic book). Barney must now reconcile with his abilities to assemble an elite squad to take down Stonebanks and save the world and they must look MACHO doing it!

For starters, the original group (made up of Statham, Lundgren, Culture, and Stallone) are shockingly taken out of commission because, get this, they are too old?! Pretty funny if you consider the circumstances. Instead, the original group we loved is replaced with less interesting, and boring youngsters that can’t keep a punch straight even if they tried. We liked the original group “The Expendables” which is why audience members were purchasing tickets in the first place. The CGI effects are pretty low-key in terms of ‘wow factor’. Never was there a moment I was impressed with a helicopter exploding or a building being crushed to smithereens.

The performance side is everything you would come to expect from an Expendable feature. The acting we actually get to see is very loose cannon and not engaging enough for me to even remember. However, two individuals save the movie from complete obliteration. Antonio Banderas as the wise cracking Galgo, a former member of the Spanish armed forces, who just wants one more chance of fighting the good fight. Galgo, has a lot of pasty one liners that made me laugh. The latter being Mel Gibson, finally returning to the big screen and showcasing how capable he is. Gibson is actually quite good as the villain. Too bad the star-studded vehicle doesn’t give him much to work with. In the minor scenes, Gibson excels when it’s just him talking and explaining his motives. Those scenes are pretty chilling.

But, what are these kind of films without the action?  Many fans (including myself) were a bit outraged at the fact this outing was going to settle the reigns for a less harsh (and more money making) PG-13 instead of the hefty R the first two had. THIS IS NEVER A GOOD THING. Automatically, you are getting less than the first two because the movie has to hold back the action. There were numerous times when I could see the camera pan and cut out to avoid showing too much.  In the first two we would see blood everywhere and curse words would be flying. Now I’m supposed to believe the group changed over night? NOT A CHANCE. In terms of the PG-13 rating, this is easily one of the more violent ones — you could tell they pushed the boundaries a little bit.

If you went back and read my reviews of the first two films, you would see how much I loved them. The first two Expendables knew what they were trying to accomplish. Mindless violence and explosions and I accepted that right away. There was still a good plot in the first two that made them better than just above average. ‘Expendables 3’ is probably the most boring film of the year.

D

By Nate Adams

Directed By: Patrick Hughes

Rated: PG13

Runtime: 127 mins

Studio: Lionsgate

Release Date: August 15th 2014
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