Dayna Crumback

Common stereotypes can make or break a relationship. The type of connection I’m speaking of is interracial bonds. I am currently dating the love of my life. I am completely head over heels for him, but the beginning of our relationship was a challenge. I had been stereotyped for many things, but not for whom I loved, until then.  When we started to appear in public places, such as the mall or a restaurant, my boyfriend and I were often given nasty looks from strangers when we showed any affection towards each other.

 I have been told that I have “jungle fever.” I find that term to be humiliating. I also have found out that because I’m dating a black man, people think I find all white males unattractive. That is untrue. Yes, my boyfriend is very attractive inside and out, but I wasn’t attracted to him just because of his skin color. Other people assume that I am trying to turn against the white race because I am choosing to date a black man instead of a white man. I have been told that if my boyfriend and I were to have kids, our kids wouldn’t count as “real” people. Co-workers and family members are telling me that a mixed person will not count as a whole person because he/she is more than one race.

An additional stereotype is that I must be as “ghetto” as he is in order to be dating him. In all reality, my boyfriend comes from a nice area in Detroit and was brought up by his very close-knit, caring family. This stereotype makes it sound as if I was dropping my expectations for him because he is black. I was actually brought up in a very unstable neighborhood that was involved in a ton of crime, such as shootings and drugs, but when people look at us, they assume that his background is more like that than mine.

My boyfriend’s told me that black girls who have seen us together ask him, “Why are you dating a white girl, when you should be dating one of your own?” They make it seem like I stole him from them. But, in all reality, if he wanted to be with one of them, he would be. He is with me because he loves me, not because I am white. Some classmates I have talked to think if a white girl is dating a black man, then the black men are stealing all of the white girls, or vice versa. It’s hard to control whom you are attracted to, but it’s even worse when someone else tries to control your preference.

When I was younger, I grew up with the image of dating a white, All-American quarterback. That is the picture my parents painted for me. I just never found one whom I was attracted to. Here I am now, dating a black college soccer player. I didn’t fall in love with him because he is black. I fell in love with his smile and caring personality. That brings up another stereotype others assume about me. They think that my parents are very liberal and love Obama. Others assume this about me for some reason, but in actuality, my parents are moderates and are not really into politics.

I hope that as the years pass, we get fewer glares and comments. People should be free to love whomever they want, no matter the color. I hope my children will not get comments or hear these stereotypes that are so hurtful today. Interracial relationships bring different cultures together, and I think society will benefit because of it.