Actually, it’s rather dry.

In The Boy Next Door, Jennifer Lopez plays AP English teacher, Claire, whose classes specialize in the classics, like The Iliad. Over the past couple years, she has been taking care of her son (who has high allergies), all the while her unfaithful husband (James Corden) has been trying to mend the relationship (he cheated on Claire with his secretary). Claire is lost in life, finding it hard to balance her social and work life, looking for answers she can’t find.

Cue hot, soaked up and lathered “19 year old” Noah (who coincidentally just moved next door). The two spark an instant connection, and he sees her in a way she never thought possible. If you have seen the trailer, you know what happens. Claire becomes vulnerable,  Noah makes very subtle moves, and boom! They have a night both of them can’t believe happened. Of course, Claire wakes up the next day, realizing the mistake she made, and insists it never again takes place.

This doesn’t bode well for Noah and his obsessive, sometimes psychotic, tendencies.

Director, Rob Cohen, has an act for high-played stylized sequences (see XXX or The Fast and Furious) that don’t add that extra “push” of intensity. In fact, I never felt a sense of urgency at all in the film. And sure, the sex scene (which is easily where the film boasts it’s R rating, aside from a stomach-churning conclusion) is, indeed, well-executed; it just feels a bit out of touch. I’m all for the fun and campy escapade the trailer suggested, but it didn’t portray that it was, instead, taking a basic recycled trend and trying to make it something invigorating. Then again, maybe my expectations were too high.

I would also like to conjure you would find better written screen dialogue from say, anything else. And the casting choice of Ryan Guzman, a 27 year old actor playing a high school student—I chuckle just thinking about it. There is a past to this character of Noah, and Guzman adds flare when necessary. The script in general just didn’t give him much to work with.

The Boy Next Door draws many parallels from other well-made obsessive stalker movies. The one that best comes to mind is Fear, which is easily how this type of genre should be executed. Don’t settle yourself short for something too basic, and well…boring. The Boy Next Door plays more like a compulsive comedy than a thriller. Grade: D-